Ask Mike - Is there any chance that I can get paid to stay home and care for my son
Dear Mike,
I am a single mother with a disabled son (application for SSI is pending now). He is nine years old and diagnosed with severe ADHD, impulsive disorder and has an additional learning disability of Dyslexia and Dysgraphia on top of his ADHD. He has seen numerous psychologists since the age of three. He has been kicked out of several day cares and pre-k systems since the age of three and still currently the school calls on average about twice a week to pick him up due to severe emotional outburst and severe anger issues leading to violence (usually inflicted upon himself). I have had to completely stop working due to his problems and this is severely financially devastating to us. I cannot even find an after school care program that will keep him. To make matters worse, his entire family (both fathers and mothers side) cannot and will not help me with him! I live in Louisiana and in desperate need of some financial assistance! His tutoring for his disabilities is on average $800 a month and insurance will not pay anything for it because of the nature of the particular learning disability (it is considered a hidden disability). His father refuses to help pay as well! Is there any chance that I can get paid to stay home and care for him?
Thank you in advance for any advice
Son in School
Dear Son in School,
Thanks for writing and sharing your PAS issues and questions. You live in Louisiana. Your son has multiple developmental disabilities that affect his behavior, his emotions and his ability to learn. His school calls you around twice per week to come and pick him up due to these and related issues. You cannot find an after-school program that will allow him to remain enrolled. You have had to stop working. His tutoring costs $800 per month. You need financial help and want to know if there is any way to get paid for staying home to provide the supports he needs.
Before I respond to the issue of being paid to provide services and supports, you need to be aware of your son's right to a free and appropriate public education under the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). In a related vein, you also need to ensure that your son has an appropriate Individual Education Plan (IEP) and finally, I can point you to contact information for you to be able to request advocacy assistance for your son in regards to IDEA rights and also assistance with his IEP. It could be that if your son is able to obtain an effective, appropriate IEP, then both your tutoring expenses as well as your need to stay at home with him so much could be reduced.
It is beyond the scope of this column to get into the intricacies and technical aspects of education law and IEPs, but the PAS Center Website can provide contact information for agencies that may be able to provide assistance ranging from providing a lawyer or other advocate, to assistance with educating you and your son's school about IEPs and how to draft an effective, appropriate IEP. Go to www.pascenter.org to get to the homepage. Click on "State Information" found at the top of the left-hand homepage menu. On the next page, scroll down and click "Agencies Related to PAS" located beneath the heading: "State Background and Contact Information for Resources and Agencies Related to PAS". The next page is a map of the USA. Click on "Louisiana". On the next page, click "Protection and Advocacy Agency". Protection and Advocacy Agencies (P & A), now often called "Disability Rights Centers", are federally funded entities with lawyers and other advocates whose mission is to provide assistance with protecting and defending the legal rights of people with disabilities. Every P & A in the country receives federal funding specifically targeted toward IDEA and related IEPs. You may want to also try State Independent Living Councils and Centers for Independent Living (CILs). Some CILs are also knowledgeable about IDEA and provide assistance with IEPs.
As far as the part of your question about being paid, this is a common question I receive. Therefore, the PAS Center created a frequently asked question (FAQ) link on the Ask Mike page entitled "Can I get paid for caring for a family member with a disability?" that leads to a page with an answer to this question and other letters and answers to similar questions.
Please try these links where you should be able to find the right people to talk with.
We hope this is helpful and good luck.
Mike Oxford